A Bride…Again

When I first started making plans for this wedding…WAY before there was an engagement ring or anything, I noticed that I really worried what other people would think. Not so much the type of thing like “I can’t believe she picked the color eggplant!” but more along the lines of “I can’t believe SHE’S having an actual wedding…again!”

I really struggled with this topic of conversation, and spent countless hours stressing myself out about it. And let me be clear here, I was really the ONLY person worried about it. Mr. CC is so calm, cool and collected about things – his take on it was that if we wanted a wedding and were willing to pay for it, then who cares what everyone else thinks. Oh, to be so free. To be so open and uncaring. Most of the time, I can admit to being that carefree about things, but this is one thing that I was unsure of.

It took several months of planning, dreaming and talking about what we would do, how we would do things, and what was important to us for me to become comfortable with the idea of a big wedding. (Not that 150 guests is all THAT big, but it’s nothing to scoff at!) Maybe it’s just easier for guys than for girls…they’re tough and hardy and girls are supposed to be sensitive and caring. I didn’t want people to look down on me or us for planning a wedding when it was not our first wedding.

I’m proud to say that in the end, after several agonizing weeks and LOTS of conversations with the Mister, I came to terms with it. This is what I want. This is what we want. I don’t really care if you (stranger) think that it’s presumptuous of me to have a wedding when it isn’t my first. That’s more your own problem, than mine to deal with. I have enough on my plate…DIY projects, meeting my budget, not going crazy doing this while working full-time.

As I started reading wedding blogs and searching for ideas and inspiration (every bride’s favorite pastime activity) I realized that there truly is a shortage of brides out there coming right out in the open about second or third or fourth marriages and actual weddings. Yes, people re-marry. But many people (it seems) don’t talk openly about it. It’s somewhat taboo. I applaud sites like weddingbee.com that actually dedicates a section of their boards to what they term “encore brides.” This encourages me that there are others out there like me. And weddingbee also features a bride (or two I found out today!) that IS an actual encore bride who spotlights her second time around. This gives me hope that I’m not totally against the grain here.

But when it comes down to it, who cares if I am totally against the grain? I don’t. Like I said earlier, this is what I want, this is what Mr. CC wants, and we’re SO excited to be planning our wedding. Who cares if we’ve been down this road before? We don’t. Luckily for us, things are different this time around or else we wouldn’t be where we are. And maybe having this unique perspective on things allows us to focus on what we know is really important this time around. Yes, I want a gorgeous wedding…but without the love that we share beneath it all, it’s just a big party.

With all of that being said, there are still moments that I look up and wonder what the H*%K I’m thinking. Like when my dad called to talk one night and I mentioned something about him walking me down the aisle. He didn’t mean anything by his response…but he literally said “Again?!?” Yes, Dad. Again. Please. It would mean a great deal to me. Even though I’ve made my peace with my decision, there are still moments that I question it all. Luckily for me, I’ve got a GREAT groom who picks up my spirits, turns my frown upside-down and makes me remember why all of this is SO important to me.

Are there other “encore brides” out there who struggle with these issues too? Are you doing something like writing about your experience on a blog? Comment below if you are, I’d LOVE to chat! And I would LOVE to follow another brides’ blog about her wedding experience.

What Does A Girl Do NOW?!?!

I’ve been putting off writing about this for a while now…hoping against ALL hopes that it would all work out...

If you remember, I wrote not so long ago here that my maid of honor had saved the day on the dilemma with my table linens. And then I wrote this post about how the tablecloths situation didn’t really resolve itself…so when I left off, I was going to check back in with her in a week and see what she was able to find for me.

Well…one thing led to another, and before I knew it three weeks had passed. Oops! I guess that I got busy with other things. So, I was talking with MOH this past weekend (she HAD to apologize via phone about the April Fool’s joke!) and she asked me what had ever come from the whole tablecloth situation. When I realized that I had not called back yet, MOH offered to go by there one day this week and take a look at things if they were in stock now since she was going to San Antonio on another errand already.

Great. I checked with Adrianna and sure enough the eggplant tablecloths were in and MOH could easily stop by and look. I waited “patiently” for Wednesday to come around. And waited patiently for the afternoon to pass…until I got MOH’s text message. It’s too funny not to share…

Okay-No it is no April fools joke ~~~~~~~~~~~~we are back to square one. I guess know one understands the color eggplant!!!!!!! It's on my dam computer as a color!!!!!!It is no more Dam you and your colors, it's WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!!!!!!! I never thought it would be this hard to find or hard for someone to understand the color, but I assure you I am not done trying. Okay- Adriana tried, it is a deeper purple that a normal purple but it is not DARK DARK purple. She showed me the table cloth as soon as I got in the door and I explained to her what we were looking for and I even had a fan deck for our paint with me and I showed her something close to what you want, she went back herself to make sure that they did not pull the wrong one for her, a few minutes later she came back with another table cloth and I thought YEA YEA YEA, I got excited to fast, it was the same color as they brought up the first time. So~~~~~~~~~~~~~I will be contacting people over the next few day to try and find them for you. I will be in touch!!!!!

So we’re back to square one on the table linens…while MOH is searching frantically for them elsewhere, I’m trying to consider other options.

While I was in Dallas last week with work, I managed a quick trip to Harry Hines (fabric deluxe shopper’s mecca!) and found the perfect shade of purple in a satin material that would make beautiful tablecloths…but there are issues. #1 – it’s WAY out of my budget for this and #2 – I’d have to make them and last, but not least, #3 – the store didn’t have enough material anyway….

So I’m back to square one…what options do you think that I have? Here are the ones that I see:
#1 – keep looking – they HAVE to exist somewhere
#2 – buy them online and try to resell them after the wedding to recoup some of the extra cost vs. renting
#3 – find the material somewhere and make them
#4 – change the color of the tablecloth and go with either black or cream, letting purple just be a true accent color in the floral arrangements

What do you think? Am I crazy for even considering making them? Can you imagine how many yards upon yards of fabric that I would need to accomplish this? Vote on the poll to the right on what you think I should do…I can’t wait to see the results!

A Prank on the Bride

Ok, so the other day was April 1st, which most people realize is April Fools Day – an opportunity for “tricky” people to play practical jokes on strangers and loved ones alike.

I, myself, have fallen for a practical joke a time or two in the past. But I have to give my MOH an award for BEST April Fool’s joke EVER in history…and maybe this has happened to other brides, so I’ll share my funny moment.

You see, I mentioned earlier here, that I’m out of town all this week. I am sitting in the most BORING meetings ever – all day long…8:30AM to 5:30PM where they order lunch in for you and some days you even work while you’re eating your lunch. So, with that being said, the point that I’m trying to make is that time has halted for me. Each day is almost exactly like the day before, and the whole “date” concept has flown out the window for me. So imagine my surprise when I received an email from my MOH on Wednesday (which was April Fool’s – whether I realize it or not!) and it stated:

Hey-Hope that all is well with you.I am not doing well, I found out some bad news today. You know my dad takes a hunting trip every October..........well he will be gone on the weekend of you wedding and that would just leave Shanna here to work the store..............I am very sorry but I do not think that I will be able to be in your wedding. I will try to make it work and let you know asap.

That was an EXACT copy and paste from her email. Word for word. And it totally shocked me. I mean, here I am in the most boring meeting on earth, and I get this email. I’m SO upset! There was a lot of stress and drama surrounding my decisions on who would be standing with me at the altar.

Now, I’ll admit that most of the drama was my own creation, because I was hung up on the length of time that you know someone versus how close you are at the moment. So anyway, despite all the drama that surrounded my choices in who my best ladies were, this one special lady was NEVER a decision to make. She’s the one that I can’t imagine doing this day without…that’s not really true. There are LOTS of people that I can’t imagine doing this day without, including all of my other ladies…but you know what I’m trying to say. So you can imagine my dismay to realize that one of the people that I can’t do this without having them by my side writing me and telling me that she can’t be there…

Insert a VERY sad face.

And what made this even more believable was the fact that she knows that I know that her Dad DOES go hunting each fall in Colorado with a group of friends. She and I have been friends long enough for me to know this and recognize this trip as a valid point. It just gave her story validity. And it also helped to lend to the prank a bit more truth was that they do in fact run a family-operated business that would suffer with the absence of two family members at the same time. So I could completely visualize her dilemma.

I took a few minutes to sort it out in my mind, and then replied back to her email telling her that I understood. I know that this situation is out of her control, and she can only do so much to work it out. I asked that she please let me know as soon as she could, so that I could determine a new course of action.

To which she replied back to me asking if I still loved her…of course I do, and I told her so. Then I received her reply to that she was only pranking me for April Fool’s Day…and she received a reply from me that I did NOT in fact love her anymore…LOL!

Yeah, I didn’t even think about that she could be pulling my leg on the whole thing. These meetings all week long are just sapping my mental capabilities and I had not even had a thought all day long that it was April 1st, thus making it April Fool’s Day. So the joke was on me, and I fell for it hook, line and sinker.

Good one BMaid T!! I’ll give you this one, but just remember that paybacks are hell…

Did anyone else fall for an April Fool’s prank as readily as I did? Or did you have a wedding party member play a prank on you during the wedding planning process?

Which Option to Choose to Still Get What WE Want?

After the shock wore off, and we were able to think clearly – meaning past the emotional disappointment of not having things work out the way you had it all planned – we looked at the situation from a step removed.

It was important for us to acknowledge that things weren’t going to be what we wanted originally, unless something changed. I mean, let’s be honest. When things don’t work out and you fall back to Plan B, something has to give. So, we quit dwelling on what wouldn’t work and started looking at what would work. What could we change in our plans to still get us the wedding that we wanted?

From my perspective, there were several options open to us:
1. Change the Venue – maybe do some research into another facility - one of our runners up. Maybe they would have some availability still in October that TOT didn’t have.
2. Change the Day – not just picking a different date, but look into doing a Friday or Sunday wedding. That opened up the calendar back at the Tejas Hall at TOT.
3. Change the Date COMPLETELY – go with an all new time frame period. Look at getting married around holidays to make the Friday/Sunday option work for us, in a different season all together so that the weddings don’t collide.
4. Change the Hall at TOT – the smaller hall, Redbud Hall, had every Saturday in October open for rental, but Mr. CC didn’t like this hall as much as the Tejas Hall.

To be perfectly honest, I wasn’t really excited about option #1. I didn’t want to choose another venue, I LIKED TOT. And the difficulties of being about 9 months out from the proposed wedding date at other popular choices in the Austin area would present with the same problem – they would already be booked. Which meant that I would have to go off of the beaten path a little bit to find somewhere else that WAS still available, and to be perfectly honest, I had spent countless hours doing this research months earlier and didn’t jump at the thought of starting over on it all.

Option #2 didn’t appeal to me either. I liked the fact that the wedding could cost less, since the rental rates for Fridays/Sundays are generally cheaper, and the practical side of my nature really liked that! But it presented a logistical problem for me specifically. My family and most of my friends that will be invited all live out of town. And not just like an hour or two away, they’re all at least 3 ½ hours away, some closer to 4 ½ hours away from the greater Austin area. Mr. CC’s family all live within the metro area of Austin for the most part, and only a few friends would make making the trek in from out of state, so it didn’t matter to them what day of the week we picked since for them it would mean several days off of work anyway. But for me, asking my family and friends to take not just one day off of work, but not TWO days off of work was just more than I could imagine. I know that they would probably be here no matter what day I chose, but I’d like to make the decision to attend as easy as possible for them – which means sticking to a Saturday.

I actually liked option #3. I decided that the Sunday before Memorial Day would be a fabulous time to do a wedding. It would be on a Sunday (cheaper rates) and the next day was a holiday for most people, so no worries about missing work for my traveling family and friends. The down sides to us picking that time were plenty, though. It was REALLY soon, for one thing, and my work schedule is jammed packed up through the end of April. (One small dilemma.) The end of May in Texas is just hot and sticky and can be completely uncomfortable. Mr. CC wasn’t thrilled about a tux/suit in the heat of May, and this was I think the driving force behind his dislike of my winner of an idea…

That really leaves us with only option #4. I didn’t want to be the one to suggest this to Mr. CC, though. I had already dealt with things not going the way that I had planned in my head, and didn’t want Mr. CC to have to do a similar thing. He really LOVED Tejas Hall, so me asking him to go to the smaller Hall which he walked into and immediately said NO, was just more than I could ask of a fiancé. This wedding isn’t just about me and what I want, but about us and what WE envision for the ceremony that marks the start of our life together. So I couldn’t ask that of him.

I did come up with one other solution, but the planning involved in it would have been SO tricky and convoluted that we didn’t consider it long. I considered booking the weekend before their wedding (Nov 7th) at the Tejas Hall that Mr. CC loved so much and then making our honeymoon be somewhere on the West Coast. That way, on our way “home” we could make a stop in Southern California for our friends wedding. Seems like a good solution right? Right. Until you consider the logistics behind all of that, and not knowing yet when they need the best man there, and if they would be able to attend an out-of-town wedding the week before their wedding. Not to mention that would mean that not only was our wedding planned around their wedding, but that would extend into our honeymoon time as well, and it might be cut short due to obligations for Mr. CC’s friends’ wedding. So that option was quickly ruled out as well.

I mean, really, what’s a girl to do? Were there other options out there that I might have overlooked in my haste to get something decided before those dates were booked too?

It's HARD to pick a date!

Don’t you just hate endings that are anticlimactic? I do. You sit there patiently through the entire two and a half hours of an action packed movie, and then the ending stinks. It just wraps up neat and tidy, or worse, doesn’t wrap up at all! (At least with that option, there’s a chance at a sequel if you liked the first one.)

That’s kinda how the drama to us picking out our favorite reception hall played out when we went to sign the contract and select our date. All this hype and excitement builds up, and drama and emotions get involved and then…POOF! It’s over. Done.

So here’s how it all happened. You remember where we left off, right? Tejas Hall was our favorite choice of the three reception halls that Texas Old Town had to chose from. Now it’s time to sign the contract and pick a date. Back when we first got engaged, I had traded several emails with the manager of TOT and found that October 24th and 31st were the only Saturdays available in October, but that November was completely open for booking a Saturday wedding at any of the halls. Great news, right? Right.

But fast forward to last week. Now it’s been almost two months. Do you think that those dates are still open? Nope. They’re not. (Well, that’s not entirely true. Halloween is still an option, but I just can’t wrap my head around getting married on Halloween, so that’s out. FH agrees.) But all Saturdays in November are open for Tejas Hall. So we start looking at November. I’m a little concerned about the weather in November for an outdoor wedding. Yes, there have been times in years past that I’ve still been on the lake in early November, enjoying balmy Texas weather, but that’s just the thing about Texas weather. It’s SO unpredictable.

So I’m going back and forth between early November and late November, when all of a sudden a thought hits me. Mr. CC’s best man got engaged over the Christmas holidays, and they were talking about an October wedding. So I check with Mr. CC to see if he heard if they had picked a date yet, just so we didn’t pick the same date, as Mr. CC would be returning the best man honors for his friend’s wedding. While Mr. CC leaves his friend a voice mail with the question, we tentatively settle on November 14th.

I’m ok with that date. It doesn’t jump right out and grab me or anything, but it’s an ok date. I’m weird, I know.

But all hell breaks loose the next day when our friend returns Mr. CC’s call. Turns out that they wanted to get married in this one particular place in California that has deep meaning to them as a couple and him as an individual. With that being the case, had to work around their venue’s schedule. And the only date that the Missions had open was….yep, you guessed it – November 14th!

We were SO bummed. I can’t even begin to explain to you what this did to our mood. Totally killed it. I mean, picking the 14th of the month to get married really blows the whole month for you. Now we can’t pick the week before (Nov 7th) since we’d still be on our honeymoon, it can’t be the same weekend (one is in Texas and on is in California), and we can’t choose the weekend after (Nov 21st) since they’ll still be on their honeymoon. You can see the difficulties that we were dealing with, right?

You think that it’s not that big of a deal, you just move your date. But when you get your heart set on something, a vision of how it’s going to be, and then things just don’t fall into place to make that happen, it requires a shift of perception. I had already dealt with this a little bit, if you remember from an earlier post in dealing with family members, but this is a new thing for Mr. CC. And let me assure you, he was just as upset about it all as I was. Not mad, upset. Just disappointed. Happy for his friends, because they got something that they really wanted and he understood what it meant to them to get married at the Missions, but disappointed that them getting what they wanted means that we have to shift our wedding perception a little bit to accommodate.