Registering for School...

With all the excitement about wedding stuff going on and consuming what feels like my whole life at the moment, it’s nice to take a minute and do something totally unrelated to the wedding.

Yesterday I registered J at her new school. Yes, she’s a big-time SECOND grader now...it’s official, I saw the report card where it shows her being promoted. Hang on, let me wipe the tear from my eye...

Yes, I’m being dramatic, but this is my BABY we’re talking about, people! She’s not supposed to be in the second grade yet...seriously. She’s going to be SO mad that I went to do this without her, but it was just easier. And it’s not like they told me who her teacher will be or which classroom is going to be hers, she’s just officially registered to go to that school. The lady at the desk that helped me out with everything told me that there was a meet-the-teacher night scheduled for August 20th, and the first day of school is the 24th.

So, I guess it’s time to buy school supplies and wait for the big day. Maybe I’ll even take some pictures this year...

J is REALLY excited about her new school, even if all of her parents are not. We’re still on a wait list to be transferred possibly to another school that would have been closer for my ex to take her to school and continue our shared custody arrangement. But as the days draw nearer, I wonder what will really happen in August when school starts. Or in September when he re-marries. I hope for her sake that nothing changes. That we’re all able to keep the arrangement that we’ve had since we separated several years back. But my gut says that’s just wishful thinking...so I’ll wait patiently and cross my fingers that it all goes well. Or that she’ll make the adjustments that need to be made ok.

It’s just hard when you’re planning a wedding to remember that there ARE other things going on in the world...not that we watch the listen or keep up with foreign events so much, but there are things that are happening in our lives that do NOT revolve around our wedding.

What other things are going on in your life that you keep up with too, in addition to planning your wedding? Do you find it hard to balance, or does it all just work out for you?

Why I blog…

Someone asked me the other day why I choose to write about my experience as a bride. More importantly, why I feel the need to write about it all as a bride doing it all again. A first-time bride is understandable, since there is all this excitement and anticipation of the unknown coming at you. But for someone who’s already been there and done that…what’s the attraction? And why would people care?

source

Well, it’s not a simple answer. There are several reasons why I blog. First and most importantly, I blog because I love it. I’ve always been somewhat creative and love having the outlet that blogging allows. It’s not necessarily that I think that what I have to say is so important, I’m confident and have LOADS of good self-esteem, but even I realize that my audience is small! But it doesn’t really matter to me if one person reads my blog or if 500 people read my blog. I don’t write for you guys, I write for me.

This keeps me sane. Yes, it’s a way for me to keep friends and family informed with what all is going on with the wedding planning process. This way I don’t have to make three phone calls to three Maids, plus one to Mama CC and one to FMIL…they can read the blog at their own pace and stay caught up with what’s in the works. I just love it when I talk to one of them and they bring up something that I wrote about…makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Yes, sometimes it gets confusing because I wait to talk about things until it’s posted on my blog, but that’s just me making things harder on myself!

Another reason that I do this is because I have really tried to connect with people in my same situation. Planning a second (or third) wedding is WAY different than planning your first wedding, and although there’s nothing wrong with first-time brides, there is often a different perspective that women doing this for a second time around have. And I look for that. I actively search for it. And I can tell you, it’s sort of hard to find. There’s just not that many of us out there being open and upfront about this whole process. It seems to be more “acceptable” to have a small, intimate second wedding, not to do the whole extravagant affair when it isn’t your first wedding. So if my posts can bring someone else some measure of comfort or a feeling of “I’m not alone in this!” to them, then I have accomplished what I set out to do.

And to be perfectly honest, it’s just not the same being a bride for the second time around. There are different issues that I face…things that I deal with that new brides don’t necessarily understand. Things like how your decisions affect people other than just you and your groom. Understanding that at times, there are just things that you cannot have in your wedding because it’s something that brings up painful memories. And being ok with your future spouse telling you that you can’t do this or that for that reason and not being all jealous-crazy-woman about it. Let’s face it, most “encore brides” are more mature, if not in age, then in experience. There are things that we’ve gone through and experienced that new brides haven’t.

We know what it’s like to have the one person that you thought that you could always count on let you down…and yes, it’s different than when a parent or friend lets you down. We know what it’s like to love someone with all your heart, but to understand in your head that it’s best to let them go. And we know when to admit that we made a mistake. With full knowledge of making the mistake at the time that we did it. And we still did it. So, we also know what it’s like to correct something like that, knowing that the other person doesn’t understand and probably never will. Living with that is sometimes hard.

So planning a wedding isn’t all happiness, hearts, flowers and butterflies all the time. It just isn’t. It can be, and there may be weeks in between each maudlin session that an “encore bride” might experience. For me, those moments are few and far between. I think that what makes the most difference is Mr. CC himself and how I am with him. I’m me, plain and simple. And he loves me. Doesn’t ask or expect me to be something/someone that I’m not. And that means the world to me.

Did you start a blog during an important event during your life? Was it helpful to you? Did you continue it even after the event was over? This is something that I’m starting to think about as my wedding day gets closer and closer…

Miss Cotton Candy Needs to Vent...About My Ex

Allright, what’s the point of having a blog if you can’t just vent every once in a while? Right? Right.

Proceed with caution…not to anyone in particular, but I’m just really upset…disappointed…angry…I’m not really sure what I feel right now. Is all of the above ok?

You see it started out so innocently. For the last few years little CC has mentioned wanting to do a sport. But she didn’t know which sport that she wanted to do. We’ve done gymnastics and cheerleading, but unfortunately she is “blessed” with the natural grace and agility that both her mother and her grandmother possess…what a LUCKY girl. Did I mention prone to accidents too? Oh well. Moving on. So about 6 months ago, she got on this kick to join what she calls “soccerball.” Unfortunately at the time, it was mid-season so she had to wait until I could get her registered and on a team.

So last month, I sent in her registration to the local YMCA, and last week received an email from the YMCA’s organizer. He emailed the parents the team roster and let us know that at this time, there was no coach for this team. If any parents were interested in volunteering to coach, he would gladly help them through the process and there was a little seminar that the Y offered to help you be a coach and all. Like a dutiful ex-spouse, I forwarded the email on to my ex. (I mentioned earlier that little CC got her lack of grace from me, right? So I obviously can’t be the coach…)

I don’t know why, but I really expected my ex to step up here. He’s been hounding me and hounding me about this soccer deal. He was upset that I didn’t register her with the league out of Austin in the first place. In my defense, the price was triple what the YMCA wanted and since we don’t even know that she’s going to like “soccerball” I figured it wasn’t worth the price this first year. So he bugs me to get her signed up for soccer and then when he has the opportunity to be more involved with his child and something that SHE wants to do…he totally drops the ball. He says that he doesn’t have time. Well, that was his initial response. Then, when he found out that he (as the coach) would get to set the practice days and times, said he would think about it and contact the organizer about being the coach.

A week passes…the parents receive another email stating that we STILL don’t have a coach and our first game is Saturday, March 28th…

I forward the email on to my ex AGAIN, with a note this time asking him if he intended to do this or not. You see, what happened is when I went home the week before and told Mr. CC about little CC’s team not having a coach, he literally jumped out of his chair and said “I’ll do it!” I’m not kidding. Leapt out of the chair with excitement and enthusiasm for this opportunity.

To be fair, and to support Mr. CC in this endeavor, I did “clear it” with my ex. No, I didn’t ask for his permission, but I let him know that Mr. CC was willing to do it, and wanted to do it, just so that my ex couldn’t come back later and make a stink about it. I was honestly afraid that when my ex found out about Mr. CC’s interest in coaching, that he would then “all of a sudden” be interested and available to do it. His exact words over text to me concerning coaching were “I don’t know if I can. I know we want her in soccer but taking on a coaching job wasn’t really in my mind.” So I was afraid that once he found out that Mr. CC was willing to do the job, my ex would suddenly find the time. And that’s the wrong reason to coach her team.

I don’t really know if I’m shocked or not that he said for Mr. CC to go ahead and do it.

Typical, to be perfectly honest. He’s never followed through on most other things in life, so why start now? Take the glory, if there’s any to be had, and let someone else do the hard work. Then look back later and not be sure why everyone doesn’t like you…yeah, pretty typical.

So I started out being upset over this whole thing. But you know what I realized? I realized how lucky I am. How truly blessed I am to have Mr. CC in my life.

I love this man. With all of my heart. I love that he loves my child this much. That he is willing to be in whatever awkward situation that my ex will make of this…he knows how my ex is, and still offers to do this for little CC. I can’t say enough. I literally have tears in my eyes writing this post…I just never thought that I would be this lucky. I say a prayer of thanks as I finish up this post…

My special angel was really watching over me when she sent Mr. CC my way!