Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Why I blog…

Someone asked me the other day why I choose to write about my experience as a bride. More importantly, why I feel the need to write about it all as a bride doing it all again. A first-time bride is understandable, since there is all this excitement and anticipation of the unknown coming at you. But for someone who’s already been there and done that…what’s the attraction? And why would people care?

Well, it’s not a simple answer. There are several reasons why I blog. First and most importantly, I blog because I love it. I’ve always been somewhat creative and love having the outlet that blogging allows. It’s not necessarily that I think that what I have to say is so important, I’m confident and have LOADS of good self-esteem, but even I realize that my audience is small! But it doesn’t really matter to me if one person reads my blog or if 500 people read my blog. I don’t write for you guys, I write for me.

This keeps me sane. Yes, it’s a way for me to keep friends and family informed with what all is going on with the wedding planning process. This way I don’t have to make three phone calls to three Maids, plus one to Mama CC and one to FMIL…they can read the blog at their own pace and stay caught up with what’s in the works. I just love it when I talk to one of them and they bring up something that I wrote about…makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Yes, sometimes it gets confusing because I wait to talk about things until it’s posted on my blog, but that’s just me making things harder on myself!

Another reason that I do this is because I have really tried to connect with people in my same situation. Planning a second (or third) wedding is WAY different than planning your first wedding, and although there’s nothing wrong with first-time brides, there is often a different perspective that women doing this for a second time around have. And I look for that. I actively search for it. And I can tell you, it’s sort of hard to find. There’s just not that many of us out there being open and upfront about this whole process. It seems to be more “acceptable” to have a small, intimate second wedding, not to do the whole extravagant affair when it isn’t your first wedding. So if my posts can bring someone else some measure of comfort or a feeling of “I’m not alone in this!” to them, then I have accomplished what I set out to do.

And to be perfectly honest, it’s just not the same being a bride for the second time around. There are different issues that I face…things that I deal with that new brides don’t necessarily understand. Things like how your decisions affect people other than just you and your groom. Understanding that at times, there are just things that you cannot have in your wedding because it’s something that brings up painful memories. And being ok with your future spouse telling you that you can’t do this or that for that reason and not being all jealous-crazy-woman about it. Let’s face it, most “encore brides” are more mature, if not in age, then in experience. There are things that we’ve gone through and experienced that new brides haven’t.

We know what it’s like to have the one person that you thought that you could always count on let you down…and yes, it’s different than when a parent or friend lets you down. We know what it’s like to love someone with all your heart, but to understand in your head that it’s best to let them go. And we know when to admit that we made a mistake. With full knowledge of making the mistake at the time that we did it. And we still did it. So, we also know what it’s like to correct something like that, knowing that the other person doesn’t understand and probably never will. Living with that is sometimes hard.

So planning a wedding isn’t all happiness, hearts, flowers and butterflies all the time. It just isn’t. It can be, and there may be weeks in between each maudlin session that an “encore bride” might experience. For me, those moments are few and far between. I think that what makes the most difference is Mr. CC himself and how I am with him. I’m me, plain and simple. And he loves me. Doesn’t ask or expect me to be something/someone that I’m not. And that means the world to me.

Did you start a blog during an important event during your life? Was it helpful to you? Did you continue it even after the event was over? This is something that I’m starting to think about as my wedding day gets closer and closer…

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