Dealing with a B for a Boss....

Have you ever had someone dislike you and you’re really not sure why? I have that with my old boss. Luckily, I don’t have to deal with her much anymore, but she can still get under my skin. Here’s a brief history from my perspective.

When I started working at my current job, there were only two accounting people in the offices, and those two people were just swamped with work. Shortly after I started working there, another lady – BFFL – started working there and we became very close. The controller that we reported to was relieved to finally have the quality help (if I do say so myself) that she needed, but envious at the same time of the bond that she saw between the other lady and myself. At times off and on, she would try to fit in, but she’s just not like us. There are so many things that make her different, but I’ll try to sum it up for you. We’re nice, she’s not. We’re helpful, she’s lazy. We work VERY hard, she does as little as possible and takes all the credit. We’re good at biting our tongues and not saying hateful things, she regularly let loose both verbally and physically throwing things on our desks.

Basically….she’s a B and we’re just not. And a person can only take so much of that, right? So before long, BFFL and I are complaining to her manager about her antics. He assures us that he’ll talk with her and resolve the situation. But one of two things always happened. #1) he never talked with her or #2) he would talk with her and she would then turn on the water works in front of him pleading for help, and then later take out her anger on us even worse. So if those are your only two options, you eventually quit complaining.

Luckily for both BFFL and I, we’ve moved on. Our old boss is still here, but is retiring soon, and let me assure you that there is not a single sad heart in that office – we’re ALL counting down the days until she leaves, not just her! Both BFFL and I have received promotions and now answer to other people, so we’re better off in the long run. Sometimes biting your tongue does pay off!

So you would think that the situation would improve, right? Nope. She’s just as nasty as ever. And it’s really gotten worse. It’s gotten so bad that I can’t hardly say anything to her now and not have her jump down my throat about something. The difference? I don’t have to take it anymore. I can simply walk away and let someone else deal with her, since she can’t fire me anymore.

But it still rubs me the wrong way, to be perfectly honest. I didn’t do anything to deserve that type of treatment. I worked for her for three miserable years, some days just hating the fact that I had to go to work. I gave her my best effort, and there were the occasional days that she was nice and cared about me and my family and what was going on in my personal life. Granted, they were few and far between, but still they were there. And I think that I’m a nice person generally, so I just can’t get my head around the fact that someone could just be that hateful. Most days, I’m able to just write her off, but other days she can still get to me. I just can’t understand why a person would treat someone else that way. My head understands that it’s just the way that she is, it’s in her chemical make-up to be a B. But the emotional side of me still struggles with her relentless and so obvious digs that she continues to make against me to other people.

Like when my fiancé and I got engaged. (I promise to share that story with you all soon!) It happened on a Thursday night, and we were in a training class all day long on Friday, so weren’t at the office the next day. We both work at the same place, so we’ve tried to keep our personal lives out of the office as much as possible. It’s almost impossible, but we try. The following Saturday night was our company Christmas party, and most people noticed the rockin’ engagement ring that I was newly sporting. I have to admit that I was proud to show it off and Mr. Cotton Candy was quick to keep introducing me around as his fiancé. (He really liked saying the word – too cute!)

But we didn’t go around to every single table. We didn’t make a point of talking about it unless the other person brought it up. And it’s not as if it was the only topic of conversation. There are over 100 employees at our location, so with spouses and all in attendance, there was plenty else to talk about. And to be perfectly honest, I didn’t seek out my old boss. The less that I have to talk to her, the better, and I counted myself lucky that I didn’t have to talk to her all night long.

So the other day in the office, my fiancé was making copies at the office and my old boss came right up to him. They made small talk for a minute and then she got around to congratulating him on our engagement. But being the B that she is, she didn’t just stop there. She had to be her true self and add on, “since I was the LAST one to find out” real snotty like. Now, if she had just said congratulations, no big deal and we’ll say thank you. But no, she had to let her true colors show. Seriously?!? You hate me that much?!? I don’t get it.

But my fiancé came to my rescue again. Not that he’s not nice like me and BFFL, he is. Totally. But he also doesn’t put up with crap like I will. So he turns around, looks her straight in the eye, and says something to the effect of that our personal business is our personal business. It wasn’t intentional for her to be the last to find out, but that it wasn’t like we went table to table at the Christmas party to announce it all to everyone. It’s our business bottom line.

She backed down. WAY down. Came back to him with a meek little “All I meant to say was congratulations.”

Did I forget to mention that he is a Marine? Big and tough and manly….intimidating when he’s upset….yeah, he’s all of those things. YEA ME!