Thursday, December 18, 2008

High Praise...

I have to admit it….I’m hooked. I LOVE blogging. I wasn’t sure if I would like it or not, but I L-O-V-E it!!! (If I could do cartwheels or something to mark the occasion, I would, but trust me it wouldn’t be a pretty sight to see this lady fall down and hurt herself.)

My fiancé paid me a high compliment last night. He told me that I was a regular Carrie.

Now, for those of you lost somewhere in the Stone Age, that would be Carrie Bradshaw of Sex in the City – the famous journalist with a style all her own and an important column in the paper in NYC. For everyone else in the world who knew immediately what he meant, I’m sure you can understand why I’d be so flattered.

If you can’t understand, then please allow me to try to explain.

You see…I wasn’t really sure about telling him that I was doing a blog. It wasn’t that I wanted to keep something like this a secret from him – Lord knows that everything that I write about has already been discussed with him in detail. So it wasn’t a matter of hiding something from him out of not wanting him to know what I was doing. It was more of an embarrassment factor.

Is that odd to have? I was a little embarrassed to tell him about it in the first place, I didn’t want him reading it right there in front of me, and I thought that he might think that it was silly. And since I didn’t really know (and still don’t) what direction I would take with the blog, I wasn’t sure that he could read everything that I was writing. I mean, if a girl wants to write about her wedding dress, her future husband can’t be reading about it, much less looking at the pictures that said girl might be posting on the blog, right? Right. So when I told him about the blog, I told him that if he ever came upon a post that instructed him not to read it, that I would ask him to respect that and promise not to sneak a peek.

He immediately assured me that he didn’t need to read my blog at all, unless I wanted him to read it. He understood that I might need an avenue to vent and get things off of my chest that deal with my frustrations with him directly, and that he didn’t need to read my blog. Since I sometimes explain things in my head that don’t end up getting said out loud, I immediately started telling him that I wanted him to read my blog. So now, the poor guy is confused. Some crazy lady is sitting in the middle of Wendy’s telling him that she’s blogging now and that she wants him to read it, unless it tells him not to read it. Then we he offers to do the gentlemanly thing and not read it at all so that it’s a private journal so to speak for me, the same crazy lady gets all upset that he won’t read it now. I mean, really. What’s a guy to do?

I, being the crazy lady in Wendy’s, was luckily able to remember that I had failed to mention or fully explain the WHY behind not reading my blog. Once I rectified that, we were on the same page. And being the gentleman that he is, my fiancé totally makes the grand gesture to only read my blog if I instruct him to do so.

So then I had to come clean about the truth of the matter. It wasn’t that I didn’t want him to read my blog. I need him to read it. I want him to see this creative expression of myself and still love me anyway. I want to know that it’s ok to be a little neurotic about things, or insecure about myself, and to get that reassurance back from someone whose opinion I value more than any other.

And he came through in spades, didn’t he ladies? Me? Being compared to Carrie? I’m truly honored. (And SO totally blessed to have a guy that even KNOWS who Carrie is, or that she writes an article in the show!)

Back off ladies….he’s taken! Thank you for the high praise, babe. I am the lucky one!

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