Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Yesterday wasn’t so Great...

After a terrific hair trial, I headed home to knock out some last minute tasks that seem to creep up. I tell you, brides, no matter how hard you work, how much you THINK that you get done ahead of time the very last week before your wedding things crop up that you don’t anticipate. So I was dealing with things like that. I was having a few problems to be perfectly honest...iTunes was not being cooperative, B was stressed out about his suit problems, so we made THREE trips to Men’s Warehouse to get the problem solved (more on that later), and everyone was calling about logistical questions for the next few days to which I didn’t have all the answers for.

I’ll admit that B and I got into a little fight. You see, he did what so many people do in assuming that something would be ok, when in fact, doing this thing would cause a lot of stress that was unnecessary. Which I would have told him about and explained, had he not already acted on the whole thing by the time that he was asking me about it. He was trying to do a nice thing, he really was, and his heart was in the right place. but he just didn’t think about it very well. He told one of his groomsmen NOT to rent a car while he and his fiance were here for the five days for our wedding, that we would give them one of our cars to drive around. Normally, doing this would not be that big of an inconvenience for us as we live relatively close to most things that we need to get out and about to do.

But for the three days before our wedding? Maybe not the best timing. I don’t know. B seems to think that I made it into a bigger deal than it needed to be...and I stuck to my guns that he should have discussed it with me before acting on it...and now we were arguing a few days before our wedding. Just not what a bride needs. Even worse? It all happened at like 11:30pm at night, right before bed. Which got me all stirred up...which meant that I didn’t sleep much Monday night. And you know what that means...a ROUGH Tuesday! J

I was tired, feeling overwhelmed, and just generally stressed about it all when I got the question that broke down the dam. For the 80th time this week, B asked me what I was stressed about or what all was it that “had” to be done that was making me all cranky. I don’t know why it struck me wrong...the other 79 times this week, I’ve answered the question as patiently and politely as I can without EVER saying something about this not being the first time that I’ve answered this exact question. I’ll admit that maybe a little bit of the bride-zilla that lives in us all came out a teensy bit this time when I answered him.

But I didn’t get mad. I cried. Just broke down and had a boo-hoo sobbing session right there in my car while I was driving home. Couldn’t even stop in Hobby Lobby to get the things that I had forgotten earlier that day (I seem to stop there daily now!) because my face was all ugly from crying. I got home, and it got better. Then he came home and it started all over again. There wasn’t a fight. We’d already worked out the car honestly, it was just that I was SO tired from the last few weeks and especially the previous night. I kept thinking that it was a day ahead of when it really was, which puts a little stress on a bride, and there just seemed to be SO much that I wanted to get done before people started showing up.

I didn’t really feel any better the first time that I cried in my car. But when I got home and cried again with B...I actually felt MUCH better. Being open and honest, not worrying about coming off like some crazy-obsessed bride really helped. I was honest in telling B how his repeated questions were driving me crazy, that if he would just LISTEN when I answered the question the first time, then he might not have to ask it again five more times. I was truthful when I admitted that although this feels like a big party to him...this is a lot of work for me. And my Maids. I seriously had not heard him offer help on Friday or Saturday (other than doing the one pick up that I had asked him to do) and had heard no mention of the guys being available to help out as well. Seemed to be a big party happening for him and I was the slave making it all come together. And that’s seriously frustrating, you know?

But once it was off of my chest, and B assured me that he would be there with me every step of the way Friday while we were getting it all ready, I felt MUCH better. I was relieved, and it wasn’t all on my shoulders. Do I really think that he’ll stop asking me the same question over and over? Nah, but maybe he’ll only ask it 2 or 3 times...which is a help. Do I think that the guys are going to be very productive setting up centerpieces and such? Not really, but knowing that they’ll be around to be our muscle when we need it is comforting.

So, I think that my biggest piece of advice that I would give an upcoming bride would be to GET ENOUGH SLEEP. Seriously. I know the stress of finishing things. But you can’t finish things in a good way if you’re tired. And trust me, after a Tylenol PM and a good 8 hours of sleep, the whole world looks different and you feel better able to handle it all. I know that when I woke up this morning, it was like being a whole new person. I feel that I’ll be able to get done what I need to get done, making time for the important things, and weeding out the rest that’s just fluff. Seeing my daughter tonight is important. Making time to do some prep work on the flowers? I would like for it to happen, but if it doesn’t then it’s NO BIG DEAL.

So after a pleasant night spent working on bouts for fathers, corsages for mothers, getting a really GREAT gift in the mail...and sleeping a full night's worth of sleep, I woke up feeling refreshed. Yes, there will be snafus and things that don't go right during the next few days, but it'll be ok. It's really not that big of a deal. And I feel LOADS better!

We’re three days out from our wedding...hopefully the breakdown last night was my big crying jag...and I’m super excited that our guests start arriving tonight and the festivities officially kickoff tomorrow! We’re spending a day of relaxation and fun with our girls and guys...having a night out on the town with good food, good drinks, good live music and good friends. Then we’ll get up on Friday morning and start working our butts off! LOL.

Any other brides second me on the getting enough sleep? Or do you have a better suggestion for how to cope and deal with all the stress that planning the happiest day of your life brings?


  1. Thanks for writing about this! I've really been letting wedding stress get to me lately and haven't been sleeping as much as I should. I'm going to be like you though and make sleep a priority for the coming weeks.

  2. Wow...I think that today is your wedding day? Yea! Hopefully you were able to get it all done without feeling stressed and tired. I read your entire post and agree that I fear that is what will be going on the last weeks before my wedding. I am SO prepared and organized and have so much done already 6 months before our big day...but I still find days where I start to feel overwhelmed and stressed about how much will be left to do that last month and not wanting to be stressed. I am stressed now about stressing later :) Silly. Thanks for your honesty and for the advice...I keep telling my Mr. Fixit that the night before the wedding (the rehearsal) will have to be an early event for me because it is imperative I get a great night's sleep that night since I'll be up at 6 am the next day. Too many people I know have bachelorette/bachelor parties or rehearsal dinners into the wee hours of the evening before the big day...not pretty.